I want ............

I want to get away with the notion that sacrificing is worth it..
I want to stop taking risks and continue hoping for nothing
I want to stop acting as if I'm always doing fine
I want to learn to manage and put down my pride
I want to have the courage to do all the things that I fear.
And pretend not to see whenever you're near
I want to hinder myself from believing that fairy tales do come true
I want to forget all my thoughts of loving you.

I just want to get rid with all my thoughts of you.
Those things that makes me tingle each time I look at you.
I want to make myself believe that DESTINY is not real
And that loving a person who can't love you back is not a BIG DEAL. 

For once, I want it all....
I want to control my own world and to do all the things that I want.
I want you to know that I'm falling deeper in love with you in each passing day.
That to be with you is incomparable to any words I should say
Please listen, I can no longer hold back.

Beautiful Nightmare

You fulfilled my dreams-- with another girl of your dreams.

I dealt the agony of loving alone and waiting forever
I carried for years the love that might happen never.
I assumed to the extreme and shed endless tears
Not knowing that the end will JUST brought me to this

This excruciating pain, this greatest down fall
This endless-like mourning I experienced after all
And the pain cannot be cover nor can't be deny
For my heart longs for the same scene that I wished for you and I.

I resisted every painful scene, I feigned the worst feeling
Now I don't know what should I do to prevent myself from loving.
What happened is quite a joke for me, I really should have known.
You have your girl, I'm here alone, the perfect ending of  a fairy tale I longed.

The Agony of L.A and W.F.

I don't have the right to make you stay 'cause you're not mine.
I'll just face the sorrow of being left alone and wait for the time that you'll come back.

I saw him with another girl, I got jealous, I got mad.
My temper exceeded to its utmost.

I felt so irritated that day, that very day.

He's not mine but I can't help but to be jealous of the other girls that surround him.

I just want to pull him off away the scene and own him, but I can't.

Things are getting more complicated each passing day.

I don't know where should I stood and what should I do.
I just wished that I didn't expect much on this fantasy, on this craziness.

I assumed and got paranoid as well, and I hate myself for doing so.

Your presence is a sweet torture that gives me both pleasure and pain.

With you here beside me is a dream come true.

To watch you move under the same room where I am makes me tingle and crazy.

Too bad, these positive things I have in mind can all of a sudden be cover up by intense pain.

I am with him, only inches away from him.

He's there, standing right in front of me but I don't know why all of a sudden he seems so close and yet so far.

I want him to be mine but he's crazy over somebody else too.

I am chasing after someone who's also chasing for somebody else.

Where can this lead me? How far can I resist the pain?

How long can I hold on to this feeling?

How long will I suffer believing in this wild fantasy?

Hey! I want you to know that you're hurting me.

I don't know whether it is your intention to do it or not,

the thing is that you're hurting me.

I just want you to know that

I LOVE YOU...
BUT

I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO LOVE ME IN RETURN!

How long can I resist the agony of loving alone and waiting forever?

12-18-12

LOVE at PER SIGHT.: Tell me, I need to know...

LOVE at PER SIGHT.: Tell me, I need to know...: I'll be waiting for the day you can finally say that you love me too.. It may not be now, but I'll be waiting...as long as I can. ...

Tell me, I need to know...

I'll be waiting for the day you can finally say that you love me too..
It may not be now, but I'll be waiting...as long as I can.

You know what? You're great. I love the way you move and talk and how you make my heart beats fast. Though I'm the only one who's hoping and wishing that somehow, our feelings are mutual, I still love the way you inspire me. With just a simple glance, you give me life, with a little attention, you give me wonderful thoughts, with a simple smile, you make me feel so alive and with your simple words, I feel so grateful.

 At times, it is the opposite, probably most of the time. Whenever you ignore me, I'm really hurt. Whenever you treat me no ordinary, I feel so neglected and worthless. Why is it that you treat me so different? Are you mad at me? Or you just hate me for a reason? Is it because you found out that I like you? Well, yes you're right. But I'm not asking you to give anything not even to like me or love me in return. You don't need to say I like you or I love you too. I'll understand. I just want nothing else but to be appreciated . No negligence and rejection, especially from you.
Tell me please, for I am really hurt. I really feel so worthless and rejected when it comes to you....

Tell me dear, I need to know.....

Dear ____,

        Love. It inspires me,it enlightens me, it caress me. Love is a fairy-tale-like feeling for me. It gives me wonderful thoughts and makes me think of happily ever after. It comforts me and strengthens me........
But not until you came.
        I don't know what happened but it is really something strange...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
     

#impossible

        Do you know how hard it is to fall for someone who's in love with someone else? You keep on giving him clues to what you really feel, but he keeps on ignoring it because he's paying too much attention doing the same thing to someone else. I keep on chasing you but you're also too busy chasing after somebody else.
        I never thought that I'm going to fall for someone like you. You're snob and I didn't have any impressions on you the day we first met. I don't know what happened but now, I fall in love with your voice, with your actions and the way you look at me. Perhaps, I am being paranoid for I always give meaning to your actions towards me as if there's something special. My heart beats fast whenever you're there and even when I only hear your name or your voice. When you're near, I can't help but to see things in slow motion and every moment with you, I remembered it all in full details. I can't help but to feel jealous whenever you treat someone so different in front of me.
      Every little thing you do means a lot to me, whether it is your intention to make me tingle or not. And to admit, I am a proud stalker of yours. This may sound weird but I guess this is the right term to use. I even edited pictures and made it look like we're actually together then afterwards, I'll just found myself smiling while looking at the picture with a thought in my mind, "Ah! We look perfect together!" All these craziness, day dreams and wishful thoughts I have,these are all because of you.
       I feel so good about all the things that's happening but I suddenly remember, you're in love with somebody else, and that makes this love impossible, so it must be kept and I must hold back. This love is doomed and perhaps, the happy ending I wish to have will always be a dream; a dream that could only happen in fairy tales and fiction stories.
      I'm always trying to deny my feelings but there are times that I really can't. I can't help but to smile whenever I see you and whenever you notice and greet me. I can't help my tears from falling whenever you ignore me and whenever I'm hurt knowing that I don't have the right to be jealous nor in the position to comfort you when you're in pain. Do you know how hard it is for me to hold back all these feelings, especially the pain? It is when I want to do something but I can't. I want to let you know all these but I shouldn't. I don't want to look so desperate but I really want you. I'm falling deeper in love with you, day by day, time after time. Honestly, I even imagine that someday, you'll court me, you'll be sweet and the likes. But after all these day dreams, I still end up with disappointments and pains. I can't have you, perhaps, I never will.

     It's too painful realizing that I love you a lot but you can't and you would never ever love me even a little in return. I must learn to accept the fact that I am the only one who's dreaming and hoping. And knowing all these,  I just wanted to HATE you, to IGNORE you and to FORGET every thing I feel for you. But then, at the end of the day, I'll again found myself dreaming of you, mesmerize by you and in love with you.


I don't know what is God's plan of
bringing you here
But the fact that u made me fall in love
again is enough for me.
I'll always keep you here with me
though for you to love me is 1% in reality.
Unexpectedly, this feeling grew
like true love waiting in pocket books
I wish I could atleast tell you what I feel
The love I'm feeling that is hard for me
to deal with. - ♥

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rhymes, rhymes

Romeo is my friend

He loves to sing and write

He is joyous and cheerful all through the time

Romeo is a sweet boy

He's smart and adorable

A good little child who's loved by all.

(for the assignment in my reading remediation subject!!! :D )

YESTERDAY-TODAY-TOMORROW

YESTERDAY, I found myself falling for someone

Someone imperfect but makes me crazy when he's gone

He painted cheers and laughs out of my stormy nights 

And brought colors and wonders in my sight

He held my hand and uttered words of promises

Filled my days with hugs and kisses

He brought me somewhere far unknown

And made me dream of wonders too

He gave me hope for he promised he'll never leave

I also pledged, for in our vows we believe.

TODAY, arguments seem to reign

Our time is shorten, affections feigned

I can no longer figure out where should I stood

The music we made is nearly out of the tune

Cheers and laughter turn into yells and tears

The colors and wonders I treasured for years

My hands are cold, my heart is numb by his alibis

Those hugs and kisses were all faded by time

Is it really me who brought this confusion?
Or is it him who started all these delusions?

TOMORROW, perhaps I'll live and let life be

Forget the love I had that wasn't really for me

Or keep the love I wished to build

With you my dear with no such guilt

The cheers and the laughs may stay in our hearts 

Or let yells and tears keep us apart

It could either be you and me tomorrow

Or separated we, will face life's sorrow

"I love you, You love me", We uttered these words together

Will fate let us hold on to these words forever?

Now or Never

I can no longer explain what I really want.

I just woke up one morning and the feeling is gone

I think I need a little space to think things over

Or else I'll be in prison for the rest of my life, forever

The feeling seems to fade, I don't know why

And how I welcome each morning with a sigh

When the sun must set and to the day we must goodbye
never shed a tear or else my heart will cry
for changes took place as I live my life with you
not the old feeling we started stay true
I unconsciously feigned affection and care
hugged you and kissed you whenever you're there
while leaves fall from the trees that morning
the feeling fades, my heart still mourning
why do it have to? Why should it be?
Why did I push him away from me?

Rain fell that night as I shed my tears
for I am not, I know, deserving for my dear
so I stand with my notion with courage in me
to let you go, and in time you will see.
That somebody out there is much deserving for that love
they'll do it better, for I am not brave enough.
Resist the pain for now my dear
and sure I know you'll find her after years
you’ll love her more than anything else and me
and plan your future, a picturesque view for you to see.
If God will allow our paths to meet again
forget the cries and all the pain
and as time goes by and if the feeling does not alter
we'll live with our vows, with the word FOREVER.









"And if our fates withstand all the realities in life, then we should be.
And if not, thank you, for sharing a lifetime-like moment with me."

..roselyn.:/

My Savior

He was always been there for me… just when i thought I’m alone, I found Him.
He was just looking, observing and just waiting for me to know and recognize Him.
I thought I was just alone. But then suddenly I saw a light that surrounds Him. His presence is very weird—I thought He has something to say.. 
But when His deafening silence took place between the two of us, I hardly cry and groan very loud because of pain. This excruciating pain that I feel keeps on lingering day by day. It kills me, and I’m slowly dying inside. Then He just looked at me; smiling.
Then suddenly, He hugged me tight as He whisper:

“my dear, I do not give you problems to cry, but to smile.
I do not offer you mistakes just for you to repent, but instead, 
it’s for you to know what would be the right thing to do
after you’ve done something wrong.
I love you that’s why I’m doing this..
I want you to learn, to be right and
then walked straight into me..
I want you to realize many things as early as
this so that sooner or later you will
be ready to face a new life ahead.
I do not want you to experience difficulties that will make you weak,
that’s why I’m preparing you. This are all not problems,
but challenges.. A challenge in which i know you’ll learn
from. Never think that I’m doing this
just to burden you. I’ll never give you problems
that I know you can’t pass through.
Just hold on to me and I’ll never leave you nor neglect you.
I love you my dear child, be strong, and hold on.”

Upon looking at him in a great awe,
right then I hugged Him and smile as i say:
“THANK YOU, MY DEAR GOD, You save me…….I LOVE YOU”

"Mar Muerto"

I'll stop. Let’s forget and live life as if we never knew each other.

by that, we'll both learn to live on our own without depending too much on the support we gave for each other.

Or maybe, we could somehow create a distance and learn to treat each other like any other person in our life.

i want to learn how to stay away from your shadow, though, sometimes i thought that would be the most difficult challenge i could give myself.

I hope, giving you this kind of thought will make you realize how to value people and not to neglect their efforts on you.

i don't want to hurt you, i just want you to learn.

And so if you notice changes in me towards you, please don't ask me but rather ask yourself.

'cause you alone can figure out why and how this things happen.

People get tired, my dear.

This could bother you for sometime but i know not too much.

And so i say I'm sorry, i never knew that I'll get tired of you.

You gave me reasons to let go of you and to surrender in a battle where the prize is you.

Your love, affection, appreciation, trust, time and presence.

Thank you; for giving the most one of a kind challenge I've ever encountered in my whole life.

Thank you.

Crazy: "Falling in love"

Though the sun is at its madness that day

My thoughts about you in my mind still play

I wonder if you ever think of me too

The way I think about you all day through

The feelings though still bring confusion

But a sight of you fulfills my illusion

The way you glance at me and the way you look at me

Is there any meaning beyond that? Or it’s just my fantasy?

I know the way I imagine things are beyond limit

Far from what could happen, isn’t it?

I’m crazy over someone, dreaming him to be mine

Making wild guess and day dreaming all through the time

I’m falling, Yes, I think I am

Falling for the wrong person over and over again.

Savannah's last letter to John

Dear John,
I'm writing this letter at a kitchen table, and I'm struggling because I don't know how to say what I'm about to tell you. Part of me wishes you were here with me so I could do this in person, but we both know that's impossible. So here I am, groping for words with tears on my cheeks and hoping that you'll somehow forgive me for what I'm about to write.
I know this is a terrible time for you. I try not to think about the war, but I can't escape the images, and I'm scared all the time. I watch the news and scour newspapers, knowing you're in the midst of all of it, trying to find out where you are and what you're going through. I pray every night that you'll make it home safely, and I always will. You and I shared something wonderful, and I never want you to forget that. Nor do I want you to believe that you didn't mean as much to me as I did to you. You're rare and beautiful, John. I fell in love with you,but more than that, meeting you made me realize what true love really means. For the past two and a half years, I've been staring at every full moon and remembering everything we've been through together. I remember how talking to you that first night felt like coming home, and I remember the night we made love. I'll always be glad that you and I shared ourselves like that. To me, it means that our souls will be linked forever.
There's so much more, too. When I close my eyes, I see your face. When I walk, it's almost as if I can feel your hand in mine. Those things are real to me, but where they once brought me comfort, now they leave me with ache. I understood your reason for staying in the army, and I respected your decision. I still do, but we both know our relationship changed after that. We changed, and in your heart, I think you realized it, too. Maybe the time apart was too much, maybe it was just our different worlds. I don't know. Every time we fought I hated myself for it. Somehow, even though we still loved each other, we lost that magical bond that kept us together.
I know that sounds like an excuse, but please believe me when I say I didn't mean to fall in love with someone else. If I really don't understand how it happened, how can you? I don't expect you to, but because of all we've been through, I just can't continue lying to you. Lying would diminish everything we've shared, and I don't want to do that, even though I know you feel betrayed.
I'll understand if you never want to talk to me again, just as I'll understand if you still hate me. Part of me hates me, too. Writing this letter forces me to acknowledge that, and when I look in the mirror, I know I'm looking at someone who isn't sure she deserves to be loved at all. I mean that.
Even though you may not want to hear it, I want you to know that you'll always be a part of me. In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I'll carry with me forever and that no one can ever replace. You're a hero and a gentleman, you're kind and honest, but more than that, you're the first man I ever truly loved. And no matter what the future brings, you will always be, and I know that my life is better for it.

I'm so sorry-
Savannah








-This letter made me cried a thousand times and I'm still into it.
The pain I felt as I read it in the book made me feel like I'm the one who's been betrayed and hurt.
I can't get over with this letter and the book and the movie as well.

FATED IMPOSSIBILITIES?

if only those sweet words are for me
if only I'm the only girl you really long to see
if only I'm a bit taller and we're the same
if only love is not just a childish game
if only time let us be together
if only you're not in the arms of another
if only you could feel this love
if only you are not that numb
if only here, in this world were fated
if only, I am not, with fantasies are fascinated
if only real world is just a mere fairytale
if only we could end up happy and gay
if only oil can be mix with water
if only you and I can make it all together
if only you love me the way that I love you
then this dreaming will forever be true.


 

Behold how my heart cries for you, my dear
That every day, for you, I want you near
How I wish that someday, you will see
That somebody's out here, somebody's me
Someone who loves you though this thing can't be
Someone who's putting an effort to see
For every walk and step you take
I fall in love each time and date
oh! fate oh why, am I again loving a wrong guy?
and the story again will end with the word GOODBYE?


















I don't know what's God's purpose of bringing you here
All I know is that, I LOVE YOU, my dear.