But not until you came.
I don't know what happened but it is really something strange...
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| #impossible |
Do you know how hard it is to fall for someone who's in love with someone else? You keep on giving him clues to what you really feel, but he keeps on ignoring it because he's paying too much attention doing the same thing to someone else. I keep on chasing you but you're also too busy chasing after somebody else.
I never thought that I'm going to fall for someone like you. You're snob and I didn't have any impressions on you the day we first met. I don't know what happened but now, I fall in love with your voice, with your actions and the way you look at me. Perhaps, I am being paranoid for I always give meaning to your actions towards me as if there's something special. My heart beats fast whenever you're there and even when I only hear your name or your voice. When you're near, I can't help but to see things in slow motion and every moment with you, I remembered it all in full details. I can't help but to feel jealous whenever you treat someone so different in front of me.
Every little thing you do means a lot to me, whether it is your intention to make me tingle or not. And to admit, I am a proud stalker of yours. This may sound weird but I guess this is the right term to use. I even edited pictures and made it look like we're actually together then afterwards, I'll just found myself smiling while looking at the picture with a thought in my mind, "Ah! We look perfect together!" All these craziness, day dreams and wishful thoughts I have,these are all because of you.
I feel so good about all the things that's happening but I suddenly remember, you're in love with somebody else, and that makes this love impossible, so it must be kept and I must hold back. This love is doomed and perhaps, the happy ending I wish to have will always be a dream; a dream that could only happen in fairy tales and fiction stories.
I'm always trying to deny my feelings but there are times that I really can't. I can't help but to smile whenever I see you and whenever you notice and greet me. I can't help my tears from falling whenever you ignore me and whenever I'm hurt knowing that I don't have the right to be jealous nor in the position to comfort you when you're in pain. Do you know how hard it is for me to hold back all these feelings, especially the pain? It is when I want to do something but I can't. I want to let you know all these but I shouldn't. I don't want to look so desperate but I really want you. I'm falling deeper in love with you, day by day, time after time. Honestly, I even imagine that someday, you'll court me, you'll be sweet and the likes. But after all these day dreams, I still end up with disappointments and pains. I can't have you, perhaps, I never will.
It's too painful realizing that I love you a lot but you can't and you would never ever love me even a little in return. I must learn to accept the fact that I am the only one who's dreaming and hoping. And knowing all these, I just wanted to HATE you, to IGNORE you and to FORGET every thing I feel for you. But then, at the end of the day, I'll again found myself dreaming of you, mesmerize by you and in love with you.
I don't know what is God's plan of
bringing you here
But the fact that u made me fall in love
again is enough for me.
I'll always keep you here with me
though for you to love me is 1% in reality.
Unexpectedly, this feeling grew
like true love waiting in pocket books
I wish I could atleast tell you what I feel
The love I'm feeling that is hard for me
to deal with. - ♥
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