I want ............

I want to get away with the notion that sacrificing is worth it..
I want to stop taking risks and continue hoping for nothing
I want to stop acting as if I'm always doing fine
I want to learn to manage and put down my pride
I want to have the courage to do all the things that I fear.
And pretend not to see whenever you're near
I want to hinder myself from believing that fairy tales do come true
I want to forget all my thoughts of loving you.

I just want to get rid with all my thoughts of you.
Those things that makes me tingle each time I look at you.
I want to make myself believe that DESTINY is not real
And that loving a person who can't love you back is not a BIG DEAL. 

For once, I want it all....
I want to control my own world and to do all the things that I want.
I want you to know that I'm falling deeper in love with you in each passing day.
That to be with you is incomparable to any words I should say
Please listen, I can no longer hold back.

Beautiful Nightmare

You fulfilled my dreams-- with another girl of your dreams.

I dealt the agony of loving alone and waiting forever
I carried for years the love that might happen never.
I assumed to the extreme and shed endless tears
Not knowing that the end will JUST brought me to this

This excruciating pain, this greatest down fall
This endless-like mourning I experienced after all
And the pain cannot be cover nor can't be deny
For my heart longs for the same scene that I wished for you and I.

I resisted every painful scene, I feigned the worst feeling
Now I don't know what should I do to prevent myself from loving.
What happened is quite a joke for me, I really should have known.
You have your girl, I'm here alone, the perfect ending of  a fairy tale I longed.

The Agony of L.A and W.F.

I don't have the right to make you stay 'cause you're not mine.
I'll just face the sorrow of being left alone and wait for the time that you'll come back.

I saw him with another girl, I got jealous, I got mad.
My temper exceeded to its utmost.

I felt so irritated that day, that very day.

He's not mine but I can't help but to be jealous of the other girls that surround him.

I just want to pull him off away the scene and own him, but I can't.

Things are getting more complicated each passing day.

I don't know where should I stood and what should I do.
I just wished that I didn't expect much on this fantasy, on this craziness.

I assumed and got paranoid as well, and I hate myself for doing so.

Your presence is a sweet torture that gives me both pleasure and pain.

With you here beside me is a dream come true.

To watch you move under the same room where I am makes me tingle and crazy.

Too bad, these positive things I have in mind can all of a sudden be cover up by intense pain.

I am with him, only inches away from him.

He's there, standing right in front of me but I don't know why all of a sudden he seems so close and yet so far.

I want him to be mine but he's crazy over somebody else too.

I am chasing after someone who's also chasing for somebody else.

Where can this lead me? How far can I resist the pain?

How long can I hold on to this feeling?

How long will I suffer believing in this wild fantasy?

Hey! I want you to know that you're hurting me.

I don't know whether it is your intention to do it or not,

the thing is that you're hurting me.

I just want you to know that

I LOVE YOU...
BUT

I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO LOVE ME IN RETURN!

How long can I resist the agony of loving alone and waiting forever?

12-18-12